Month: November 2015

Let’s Rant, Shall We?

The Appalachian Barbie2 Comments

So in the interest of trying to be a decent human being, I try to keep my social media light.  I want the energy I put out into the universe to be as happy and positive as possible, in the event that it ever makes it’s way back to me.  But even I have limitations to my tolerance and today just happens to be one of those days.  So I deeply and truly apologize for the amount of steam i am about to let off and if you don’t read any farther, I don’t blame you.

For those of you still with me, I just want to vent about human kind in general these days.  This post has basically been born out of my absolute disgust with facebook over the past few months.  What a gross place it has become.  I somehow have accumulated 800+ friends over the past 10 years, and of those 800, it seems that facebook has somehow filtered it down to the same 30 people, of which probably 10 are people I actually have contact with in real life.   I read the most hateful, ignorant, unfounded crap online day in and day out, and it makes me lose all my faith in humanity as a whole.  So for everyone who spends all their time on facebook, arguing with people you don’t know, about things that don’t matter, when you’ve never once been asked your opinion, you just wake up every day and offer it like you’re god and your opinion and lifestyle is the ONLY way, here’s a newsflash–

You.  Are.  Not.  Special.

Sometime in the past 2 generations, we started raising people to feel that they are “unique” and “desesrving” and “special.”  Not that these are bad things necessarily, but somewhere along the line we ended up with a world full of fat whiny crybabies who have never been told no.  America as a whole has turned into a population of overmedicated, understimulated tech zombies with no common sense and no motivation.  As a manager of a small staff of college age kids, I can tell you that I deal firsthand with these people daily.  I have to supervise people that are graduating from university in 2 weeks time, but still ask me how to plug in a vacuum cleaner.  I have people with no prior experience and who are failing within their current position who are crying because they didn’t start out as a bartender working weekend shifts and it’s all because their entire lives they have just been given things.  “Oh, you’re on a basketball team?  Well here’s a trophy for showing up for practice twice a week  You get one exactly like the kid who went home and practiced every day, and scored all the points for us, BECAUSE YOU’RE SPECIAL TOO.”  That’s not real life.  In real life you have to work for things.  

And it’s not just the college kids.  It’s grown ass people who are so bored with their own lives that they have nothing bettter to do than argue their personal beliefs until they’re blue in the face online and it never makes a bit of difference!  The lack of tact and empathy I see towards other people is disgusting.   Who told you that your religion is the truth??  Because a book told you?  Fine.  If taht is what you believe then that is just great.  But you should be willing to understand and be respectful if someone else believes otherwise for their own reasons!  Not one of us knows for sure what happens when you take your last breath, but I can tell you one thing for certain.  No matter the religion, a running theme seems to connect them all and that is to JUST BE A GOOD PERSON! You can feel the difference between right and wrong to your very core.  Things that make you feel good- helping people, being productive, being nice.  Things that make you feel bad– being a jerk, being mean to people, bad hygeine.  So maybe people should pay more attention to their inner compass instead of worrying so much about being right or wrong.  

And speaking of bad hygeine, can we please discuss how it is somehow ok now to be frumpy and put forth no effort into your appearance?  This is just a personal pet peeve, but there is no pride taken in how people present themself anymore.  Wash your damn hair, put on some deodorant and take the time to slap on a little face.  Guys– enough with the long disgusting beards.  Literally everyone can grow one.  At this point, it’s not a sign of your manliness, it’s a sign of your laziness.   If I can still smell what you drank last night in there, you should trim it WAY down.  

Oh, and don’t even get me started on politics.   Here’s my idea for the right to vote:  It shouldnt be a right at all.  A person should have to pass a test containing knowledge of the existing political system, World and American History, Current events, and an IQ test, all black and white answers and if you possess enough general knowledge in these areas and have a moderately average IQ, then you can be allowed to cast your vote.  Otherwise, you should be banned from even talking about it BECAUSE YOU ARE UNQUALIFIED AND YOUR OPINION DOESNT MATTER.

Let’s stop with the presciptions too ok?  Like, every time you get a runny nose, you don’t need to run to the doctor for a z pack.  The human body is an amazing feat of science.  If you fuel it correctly you might see that it has the ability to heal itself quite well.  But thats not as easy as chucking back a pill is it?  Oh you’re depressed?  Here’s a zoloft.  but that’s going to constipate you so here’s a pill for that.  But that’s going to dehydrate you so let’s give you something for that too.  Now  youre on 3 pills for depression when all you really had to do was evaluate your life, get to the source of the problem and eliminate it.  A change of atmosphere along with a good diet and exercise can do more for you than an antidepressant ever will.  “My back hurts!”  Wahhhhh….go to a chiropractor.  Do some yoga.  Or just go get a loratab prescription.  Whatever.  The sad truth is, everyone is so damn lazy now, you want a magic pill that will fix things without you ever having to lift a finger and make the changes yourself.  How fulfilling.  

In conclusion, I don’t mean to sound like I have such a negative outlook.  But we should all realize that as individuals, we are nothing.  Not one of us could survive alone.  As a baby you depended on the kindness of others to keep your ass alive and nothing has changed since.  So why not throw a little kindess to others in return?  Realize you’re not god, you’re no one special and in reality your opinion means less than nothing.  Work hard, aim high, raise your standards and grow a set!  Learn how to do something useful, like fix a toilet as opposed to how to jailbreak an iphone.  A man who can change a tire will forever be manly regardless of the length of his beard.  Upgrade your role models from Kardashians to people with actual talent and morals and souls.  

Enough already.  Have a nice night.  This grumpy gal is ready for bed.  

Garlicy Tomato Shrimp

The Appalachian Barbie2 Comments

Last night I made the most amazing dinner in less than 20 minutes!  Totally worthy of date night, this dish would have cost at LEAST $15- $20 each at a restaurant.  Between the cost of the wedding and the upcoming holidays the hubby and I are pretty strapped for cash, so enjoying each other’s company at home at a fraction of the cost is a great alternative to a night on the town!  I stole this recipe from the “Relish” insert in my local paper.   It sounded amazing and thank goodness the taste lived up to my expectations, actually even exceeded them!!  I paired mine with butternut squash rissoto and a crisp romaine salad topped with cucumbers, blue cheese crumbles and balsamic.  The risotto was the perfect partner to this dish, soaking up all that delicious white wine sauce.  And the best part about it was how quickly it was prepared.  Well, actually the BEST part was that we had an excuse to drink the wine that was left over in the bottle.  Below is the recipe, tweaked a little to my own personal preference.

3 tbsp olive oil

4 garlic cloves sliced thinly, crosswise

2 shallots sliced thinly, crosswise

1 pint grape tomatoes, sliced in half, lengthwise

1/2 tsp crushed red pepper

1 tsp italian seasoning

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 tsp black pepper

1 Cup dry white wine

2 tbsp lemon juice

1 lb medium-large shrimp, shelled and deveined, tails on (I bought the kind that are already cooked and frozen so I had to de-thaw them before cooking)

Heat olive oil in deep sauce pan over medium heat.  Add garlic and shallots and cook until fragrant, about 2 minutes.  Add tomatoes and cook until softened, about 4-5 minutes.  Add spices, wine and lemon juice and bring to a boil.  Simmer and cook until reduced by almost half, about 3 minutes.  Add shrimp and cook until heated through, about 3 more minutes.  
And that’s it!  You could even do this with pasta or plain rice.  I hope you enjoy as much as I did!

  

Creepy Clowns from East Tennessee

The Appalachian Barbie1 Comment

This year for Halloween, I decided I’m finally too old and too married to dress as a “sexy” anything– no “sexy police officer,” no “sexy kitty,” not even a “sexy zombie.”  (That is a real thing.)  I also sadly realized I was also too poor to be anything, so I was going to have to be creative.  The easiest way for me to do Halloween up right would be to use what I already have.  So starting wtih makeup, I have plenty of that.  And after digging through costumes past and mixing them with some things I already had in my closet, a Killer Clown was born!!  It cost me less than $30 for both our costumes COMBINED! And I must say, this has been my FAVORITE costume to date!  I genuinely did not want to take my makeup off at the end of the night.  And pulling up beside random cars on the highway while creepily rolling down the window and smiling at them was SO much fun.  So let’s see the finished product:

  
AGH!!  I love it! So here’s the before and afters of our face

   
 
First off, can we discuss how HANDSOME my blue eyed husband is?  (Insert wolf whistle here)  I honestly only bought the white face paint and the rest was done using makeup from my own stash.  The brand is this fantastic company called “Paradise” and it’s in powder so you wet it and when you put it on your face it dries to a powder finish.  It stays put and you don’t have to worry about it running off throughout the night.  The rest was just outlining with my black liquid liner, and filling in with black eyeshadow.  The red was a simple lipstick topped with transleucent powder to make sure it didn’t budge.  I did however buy some fake blood to smear all around.  And for my teeth, some latex that I simply painted on to make them look like razors.  Thats it!! Sometimes less really is more! Mitch already had the v-neck tee and pants, the suspenders were borrowed from a friend, and I bought a bag of pom poms at walmart for $2.  We pinned them down his shirt with safety pins and topped his head with a $0.69 party hat from the kids section of a party store.  a $6 axe completed the look.  

My costume consisted of a striped corset I wore to a Billy Idol concert a few years ago, a tutu from an old raven costume and a jacket and hat from an old lion tamers costume.  I bought the gloves at walmart for $3 and had a friend pick up the knee highs at the halloween store for $7.  I added a big fake knife and that was that.  

  
Sooooo creepy!  It’s really all about the details in the makeup.  Hope I gave you guys something to think about for next Halloween!  Remember, a good costume doesn’t have to be expensive!  Start with what you already have at home.  You would be surprised what you can make do with, with just a little inspiration!

   

    

 Sweet dreams!!