(March 27, 2019)

I am so sick of victimizing. 

I’m sick of seeing people in the media doing it, I’m sick of seeing people I know online doing it to themselves and I am WAY sick of choosing to make myself a victim.  Because that is the cold, hard truth-we make the choice to either be a victim or warrior in life.  And every time you ask “why is this happening to me,” instead of “how am I going to better this situation,” you are CHOOSING to make yourself a victim.  I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to set my life on fire and be a warrior. 

I have mentioned on numerous occasions that the last couple of years have been quite tumultuous for me.  But every good thing that has happened has been the result of something horrible happening and my conscious decision to rise above it and be greater.  Things are going to happen in life-relationships ending, losing jobs, illness, etc.  During these times, the temptation to lay down and give up hope and blame everything else is strong.  But doesn’t it just seem a little bit easier to let things go, accept what has happened, learn from it and let the the anger and hurt fuel the desire to come out on top?  Everyone loves a success story, just ask Britney Spears!

I’ve learned through experience and some therapy that I am a control person and a “fixer,” which can prove to be very problematic for me. Because when I see an issue, I want to make it better, whether it’s in my own life or the people around me.  I am going to share with you some valuable information that may seem quite obvious, but it has changed my life since I let it finally sink in: you do not have control of anything else in this world than yourself.  You cannot change someone else, you cannot change outside circumstances, the ONLY thing you can control is your life, your choices and your reactions.  The most tragic irony is that in trying to control everything else, we lose control of the one thing we actually can manage-our own lives.  I’ve been shackling myself to a relationship for over a year that has literally almost killed me.  Physically, emotionally, mentally, the energy I have poured into this situation which I have no control over has drained me until there is nothing left.  And you know what all my time and energy and tears has solved?  Nada.  Nothing.  It has made me a lunatic and brought down every other aspect of my life.  The solution is so simple: LET IT GO, STOP BEING A VICTIM TO IT AND TAKE CONTROL OF MYSELF!  It’s WAY past time for me to invest all that energy into something with actual return and that is my own well-being. 

Oh the love of your life bailed on you Kathie?  You lost your job?  Still not accomplished anything with your body and fitness goals??? Wahhh. That sucks.  Well suck it up.  It’s time to be a bad bitch.  Paint on some makeup.  Expel that negative energy at the gym on something that is going to make you look AND feel better.  Stop drowning your sorrows in food and alcohol.  It’s just as easy to pick up a glass of frickin water as a glass of wine or to swallow a slice of fruit as a slice of pizza.  Stop blaming everyone else and accept responsibility for the fact that YOU are the reason all this is happening so YOU can fix it immediately.  There is absolutely nothing attractive about a negative, whiny, crying victim who is not proactive within their own life.  What is attractive, however, is a confident, successful, independent person who doesn’t need anyone else to be amazing.  That stuff radiates from inside out and will attract other good, like minded people in return. 

When I read “The Secret” for the first time in 2012 it completely changed my life.  I immediately began to see results once the concept of the Law of Attraction finally clicked-what you focus on in your mind is what you will attract into your life.  If you constantly dwell on loss/sickness/sadness/anger, that is what you will be surrounded by.  In turn, if you get laser focused on success/wealth/health/happiness, those things will naturally appear.  And it’s not some magic trick, it’s just your thoughts subconsciously driving your actions.  You want to get fit? Read nothing but fitness blogs and magazines, spend an hour at the gym every day, make friends with people who live that lifestyle and tell me you don’t get results.  It’s common sense- you obviously won’t make any changes if you spend all your time around unhealthy people, sitting at bars or eating fast food and reading tabloids.  The most important question I ask myself over and over again is this: 

Are the steps I’m taking daily leading me to my ultimate destination? 

If your goal is to climb to the top of Mount Everest, the steps you are going to take are going to be uphill and sometimes difficult.  Sure, it would be much easier to put one foot in front of the other in the opposite direction, but day after day you will find yourself not only no closer to your goal, but actually drifting further and further from it.  I am committing myself to stop doing things every day that are putting me nowhere closer to where I want to be.  So this is me putting it out into the universe here and now to make it tangible: I want a successful, fulfilling career, I want a loving committed relationship with an equal partner and I want a stomach that I can show off in a 2 piece.  Let’s all get to work on transforming from victims to warriors.  It’s time to level the eff up!