(February 15, 2019)

I don’t know if anyone else is like me, but sometimes my greatest ideas and realizations come to me in the shower.  That’s exactly what happened this week.  As I was halfway through the lather cycle of my shampoo/condition/soaping routine, I was thinking about a conversation I’d had that day with a friend who asked me to go shoot guns at the range with him.  I immediately declined without a hint of hesitation because I am extremely fearful of firearms.  I’m not opposed to them or anything, I just was never raised around them, my dad didn’t keep them in the house and to be honest, I’m petrified of anything that goes POW.  I can’t even open a can of biscuits or pop a balloon. It was during this shower time reflection that it occurred to me how sincerely stupid this fear is and that’s when I made the decision to change it.  I am going to take control of my life, stop being a wimp and start conquering my fears.

Shooting guns was just the tip of the irrational fear iceberg.  I started thinking about all the other things I’m scared to do that has hindered my life, and actually started a list.  As the day went on, the list kept getting longer and longer.  Some were physical fears, like my fear of falling, which has kept me from the exhilaration of riding a roller coaster or coasting through the tree tops on a zipline excursion.  Other things were emotional fears, like my fear of looking stupid, which has stopped me from pursuing things I really enjoy like acting or even singing karaoke with friends.  I have literally humiliated myself in front of dozens of people during the height of my drunken college bar hopping, but I won’t attempt to do a local play because I’m afraid people will think I’m not good???  That’s ridiculous and it’s time for it to stop. 

Starting this week, I committed myself to checking things off this list and start living my life to the fullest.  First thing I did was sign up for Hot Barre classes at Real Hot Yoga.  I’ve avoided going when my friend Kalen asked me to go in the past because I suck at yoga and ballet and really anything that involves balance or flexibility.  Not to mention that she is in incredible shape and the thought of me rolling around beside her on a yoga mat in all my skinny-fat sweaty glory is not very appealing.  But I threw caution to the wind and took the 4:30 class on Monday and it was the best decision I’ve made in months. I absolutely LOVED it.  Was I terrible at it?  Yes, but even the most fit girls in class were struggling and winded because it is a beast of a class! I already went back and did another class on Thursday and took another friend with me.  It also inspired me to sign up for a cycle class, which is something I used to love but fell out of the habit of going to. 

This decision to live fearlessly is so amazing because making one decision always leads to another and that is how you can change the entire course of your life.  Making one positive decision that seems so small will naturally lead to another good decision until one day your life is just amazing.  It also works that way in the other direction so be aware of the small choices you’re making every day.  I am so excited to see where all this risk taking is going to take me.  Doing things like a zipline or roller coaster obviously come with a chance of death.  But the chances of me biting the dust after my harness breaks zooming over a mountain are a lot more slim than the chances I’m going to get nailed in a head on collision and go through the windshield of my car, and that doesn’t stop me from driving every single day. 

Some more of the things to tick off my list include boxing classes, nursing homes (my number one fear is getting old), stand-up comedy, hiking alone, snow/wakeboarding, weekend music festivals or camping in general, going on an overnight trip alone with my mother and riding a horse. This is definitely not the end of the list and I keep adding things every day.  I want you all to make your own list and join me in living life to the fullest!  From here on out, I don’t want another moment to be missed because I was too scared to try.