Since we are now 2 1/2 months post- wedding, I feel my PTSD has leveled out enough to discuss my personal wedding experience- my do’s and dont’s, where to spend your money and what to pass on to maximize your budget and how I managed to pull off a wedding that looked far more expensive than it really was.

For starters, my DO’S AND DONT’S:

-DO start early.   The more big stuff you get planned early on, the less you have to stress when it gets close to the actual day.  But 

-DON’T be surprised when all those carefully laid plans fall completely apart.  I had my venue, my food, my dress, the cake,  the invitations, the music and the alcohol all secured by March (my wedding wasn’t until October 17).  In April my photographers bailed.  In August, my venue was sold, the name changed, the owners changed and they fired my wedding planner.  Just remember to try and breathe and learn how to work under pressure.

– DO utilize your connections.  Since I have worked in the downtown service industry for over a decade, I’ve made a lot of valuable connections involved in the wedding industry.  Remember that guy you used to go to college with that DJ’s now?  Hit him up on Facebook and see if he can get you in or at least refer you to someone he knows.  Try to book your wedding at a cool new spot that no one has discovered yet.  The more in demand a location is, the more expensive it will be. Or have it at someone’s fabulous house.  

-But DON’T compromise what you really want to save a buck.  Over and over I was given great deals by people I had connections with, but it seemed, in some cases, due to them cutting me a deal, I was also not given top priority or treated like less of a paying customer than other people who paid full price. So DON’T be afraid to speak up if you feel you’re being treated unfairly.  

-DO make sure you get AND KEEP receipts and contracts for ev.ery.thing.  Seriously, down to the most minute detail.  Until the wedding is done and you have received all your photos, do not toss any type of binding material.  If someone doesn’t deliver as promised, you want to have your proof because “he said, she said” wouldn’t win a court case.  Also, I would HIGHLY suggest getting contracts from EVEYONE, NO MATTER YOUR RELATIONSHIP with them.  I had booked a friend I’ve literally known since I was a child and his band to perform during my cocktail hour and less than 2 weeks before, they cancelled.  People can be very disappointing so be prepared for that.

-DON’T get caught up in the dumb little things.  The little details can certainly make or break a wedding atmosphere, but things like seating arrangements and someone forgetting their boutineer won’t even be noticed by guests.  What they will remember-lot’s of good food and drinks, great music and fun parting gifts.

-DO make it personal.  One of the most spectacular parts of our wedding was when we read the letters aloud to each other that we had written.  Everyone kept commenting on how much they loved that part.  So DON’T be afraid to put your personal touches on everything. 

I certainly would recommend making a brainstorming chart to determine exactly what your dream wedding looks like and keeping a very clear vision of that throughout.  I knew from the beginning I wanted classic black and white, something elegant, timeless, that I could look back on 30 years from now and it would still be as gorgeous as the day I had it.  So I would say to forgo the trendy stuff, maybe just a few trendy accents here and there, but something that will still look beautiful hanging on your wall when you’re 60.  Decide on the colors, the overall feel, do you want indoor/outdoor, what are the pros and cons, what type of music for each part of the wedding?  Do you want a wedding party?  Kids or no?   There are so many factors to a successful wedding, I highly suggest getting “The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planner & Organizer.” It breaks down your entire wedding from start to finish amd I probably would have forgotten a lot were it not for that.  You can also download their app which has a handy checklist countdown to your wedding day.  Other than that, Godspeed.  There is so much to remember over 10 months of wedding planing that I’m certain I’m forgetting most of it. Below I’m posting photos so if you see something you have questions about, please don’t hesitate to ask.  Oh, one more thing–

Just call the whole thing off and go to the courthouse.  🙂